Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
