I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
