I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
