I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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