I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
