Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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