He uses pillows to masturbate.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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