yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
