Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
