Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
