she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
