Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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