i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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