After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
