She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
