when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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