We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
