so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
