he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
