happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
