You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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