Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
