My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
