just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
