i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
