help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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