Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
