Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
