I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
