the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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