dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
