She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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