There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
