if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
