SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
