I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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