Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She needs sedatives and a leash
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
