she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
