I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
