i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
