I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
