Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
