You made me cry and you don't even care
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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