In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
