There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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