You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
