I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
