cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
