so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
