I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
