I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
